Missing Gma

My therapist says, "You're fine."

My depression is better; my loneliness is unchanged. When Lucy is here, we talk and if not, at least I hear some one doing the dishes, running the sweeper, making my bed, making the noises of a housekeeper. When she is gone, my loneliness sets in; TV helps little, I tire of reading, I avoided snacking which only makes me more aware of my expanding middle. Nothing works.

Today's visit to Robert's party was a perfect example of what's going on. It was noisy as usual; when Gram was with me, she would stand next to me, chat with me, comment on the decor, the food, the attendees, so I didn't have to feel alone because I was unable to have a conversation with anyone else because of my hearing. Today, without her, the loneliness was double-bad.

I've started my campaign to make things better. I arranged for a bridge game every Thurs with Wilma. That with a game every Fri with Joan (Pleason) will help. And perhaps another weekly game will help. There is always the realization that I will always miss Gram no matter what, that I will always be lonely.

Stay tuned.