Dramatis personae
- Moishe and Doba—great-great-grandparents of Amelia Moishe and Doba—great-great-grandparents of Amelia
- Hillel Zuckerman/Yachnovich, Harry Jackson/Peepa—great-grandfather of Amelia
- Evelyn—grandmother of Amelia
- Phyllis—mother of Amelia
And it came to pass, Moishe came to the River Berezina. It was quiet and wide. And the birch trees fluttered and it was good. And Moishe said, “Here I shall build a mill and find a mate and we shall raise our family and it will be good.” And Moishe saw Doba and she was comely and Moishe took her as his wife. And they were fruitful. And they begat a bunch of kids from Fruma to Mashka. And they grew and they prospered. And it was good.
And it came to pass that the third son Hillel was alone one evening and a Cossack appeared. And they wrestled and Hillel was strong and defeated him. And the Cossack said, “What is your name?” and Hillel responded, “Hillel Zuckerman.” And the Cossack said, “From henceforth you will be known as Hillel Yachnovich.” And it was good.
And the Yachnovich sons left their home in Karanetz and went to America except Israel who stayed with Moishe and Doba. And the immigration officer said to the third son, “What is your name?” And he replied, “Hillel Yachnovich.” And the officer said, “That is not American enough. Henceforth, your name will be Harry Jackson.” And Hillel, named Harry, later called Peepa, did not like his new name but he bore his pain with dignity.
And every day of his life Harry, called Peepa, read the Forward or the Forvetz, a Yiddish newspaper published in the big city. And Harry, called Peepa, met Rose and she was comely and they wed. And it was good, and they begat Daniel and it was good. And they begat Evelyn, a lovely, sweet child and Harry, called Peepa, was happy. And every day Harry, called Peepa read the Forward or the Forvetz.
And Evelyn grew and she was comely and she met Moss and they wed, and they begat Phyllis and Debra and Mark and David. And they prospered. And Phyllis met Alan, and he was smitten by her beauty. And they wed and begat Amelia Batsheva. And Amelia was a comely child. And she looked at the world. And she wanted to try it all. And she tried tap dance and ballet and Israeli dance and modern dance. But it was not enough. And she tried the violin and the saxophone. But it was not right. And she was a Brownie and a camper and a skier but it was not good. And she tried acting and basketball and biking and teaching and writing but it meant nothing. And Amelia Batsheva said onto Phyllis, “Mother, I am growing and learning but it is empty. What am I missing?” And Phyllis said onto Amelia, “Hush, you must be patient.” And the time passed.
And Amelia became restless. And she said to Alan, “Father, is it time?” And Alan just smiled. And more time passed and Phyllis said onto Amelia, “Now is the time. You must go toward the rising sun to the metropolis called the Large Banana. There is your destiny.” And Amelia Batsheva said to Evy, “Grandma, I am going to the big city called the Large Banana to find happiness. Tell me, Grandma, how will I know how to find it?” And Evy whispered in her ear, “Ask thyself, W.W.P.D. What would Peepa do? Remember - he read the Forward or the Forvetz every day and there is your answer.”
And Phyllis prepared 37 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And she packed them for Amelia Batsheva and blessed her for her trip to the metropolis called the Large Banana. And Amelia Batsheva searched the city called the Large Banana for true happiness. She followed a large cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. And she studied her books and searched. And she did her work and kept her eyes opened. And she played and she kept watch. And she was vigilant.
And she became discouraged. And she called Evy. “Grandma, what can I do? I have looked everywhere in the Large Banana. I cannot find my future.” And Evy said, “W.W.P.D. What Would Peepa DO: every day he read the Forward or the Forvetz published in the Large Banana.”
And Amelia took heart. And she looked in her backpack. And all the peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches were gone. And she looked up and a comely young man was before her. And he said, “I am Gabriel, your angel” and he gave her a newspaper. And it was the Forward, which was once called the Forvetz, which Peepa read every day. And Amelia smiled. “My Grandma said that Peepa knew that you will be my destiny.” And it was good.
L'CHAIM!
I read the above at the wedding reception of Amelia Kahaney and Gabriel Sanders. Gabe was on the staff of the Forward (also known as the Forvetz). Following is a note I received from them upon their return from their honeymoon:
Dear Aunt Yvette and Uncle Dan—many, many thanks for your generous wedding gift. It is safely deposited in our “house fund” and as soon as soon as the housing bubble bursts we’ll be on the road to becoming house owners.
Dan, thanks to you especially for your generosity of spirit and the incredible speech you delivered for us on our wedding day. We have listened to it many times since and look forward to playing it for our children and our children’s children, It meant so much to have you at our wedding and we feel so lucky to have such an incredible family not just for big events like that but all the time. We’ll try to make a trip down to Houston soon so we can express our thanks in person. For now we hope you enjoy the photos of the big day! Yvette, we were so sorry you were not able to join us at the wedding but perhaps soon we can come with the video and it will be like doing it all over again. Thank you both for everything, always.
Much love, Amelia and Gabe
